Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Late-night's leading hosts used their broadcast ridiculing President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play system for the wealthy.

Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic holiday song targeting the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... destroys all he handles."

Colbert's target was the new initiative which enables overseas nationals to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, with a "premium" option for 5 million. A government page guarantees processing "faster than ever."

"One message here to wealthy immigrants: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, requiring hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a attempt to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.